Just who the hell do you think you are
I pay the light bill in this bar
Hey whatcha mean you're gonna cut me off
Just shut up and give me that beer I bought
I got no idea who took my keys
Who put this lipstick on my cheek
I know I might come off whiskey bent
You're probably thinkin' I'm three sheets to the wind

But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed up cans
No, I can't say my CBA's
I can sing you every song that jukebox plays
And I know I can't stand or sit
But if I was hammered, could I dance like this?
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Honey, to be honest I've had me a few
I mighta danced with a cowgirl or two
I mighta left my left boot at the bar
You mighta seen me laying out in the yard

But I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing ya every song that jukebox plays
Yeah, I know I can't stand or sit
But if I was hammered, could I dance like this
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Well, I mighta started drinking at noon
But this honky tonk don't close till 2

And I ain't as think as you drunk I am
Don't pay no mind to this mountain of crushed up cans
No, I can't say my CBAs
But I can sing ya every song that jukebox plays
And I know I can't stand for shit
But if I was wasted, could I dance like this
Might have a cold one in each hand
But I ain't as think as you drunk I am

Might have a cold one in all three hands
I ain't as think as you drunk I am
May not be good as I once was
But I'm as good once as I ever was